Mallow said something about Fenris getting a belly rub XDa
An Extensive Tutorial in the Art of Petting Elves
There is one well hidden, nigh unknown truth about all elves, from Dalish, to Alienage dwellers, to brooding, tattooed, Tevinter fugitives—all elves like to be stroked like contented lap cats. If you were ask an elf about this, you would get scoffs and sneers, and most likely accusations of being an idiot shemlen who has no idea what they’re talking about.Therefore it’s best not to ask, especially if you are particularly determined to pet your desired elf. Instead, the author recommends you follow this simple guide:
1. Make your elf comfortable and relaxed. There are many ways to go about this. Some elves prefer a good meal and a glass of wine, while others are partial to long baths and warm fires. If you are attempting to pet an elf, you should be familiar enough with them to know what they enjoy—if not, you’re not ready to pet this particular elf.
2. Give no indications that you wish to pet your elf. They will be put off by it.
3. Sit with your elf for a while, doing something relaxing that you both enjoy, be it reading, playing cards, or just telling stories. Some elves are fond of sitting quietly in front of a fire.
4. Make sure your elf is wearing something loose and comfortable; less clothing is better since you will have access to the sensitive skin on their bellies this way.
5. Carefully start with the ears—they will twitch under your fingertips, and while this is a pleasant sensation for both persons involved, your goal is to run your hands in slow stroking motions from the tip to the base of the ear until your elf is relaxed enough that the twitching stops.
6. Now you are ready to move on to other parts of your elf’s body. Start slowly, touching cheeks and jawlines before moving on to the neck (be particularly careful with the neck, some elves will find a hand on their neck to be threatening.)
7. Invite your elf to lie down in your lap; if they are relaxed enough, they will eagerly accept.
8. You are now ready to attempt the holy grail of elf petting—the belly. Slowly ease off your elf’s clothing so that their belly is exposed, then run your fingers very lightly across their skin. In no time, your elf will be so content that you can rub their belly as much as you like.
Follow these eight simple steps, and you will be petting your elf in no time.
Fenris eyed the book dubiously as he lay in Al’s lap, before chucking it half-heartedly towards the crackling fire.
“Feh,” he murmured, leaning his head into Al’s touch. “You could have just asked.”